PART WON (sic)
Sunday, the day after Saturday, arrived , like every one of the past few million Sundays , including the millions of Sundays that didnt even know that sometime in the far future they would be called Sunday . The rising sun rays chased the last remants of night out of the sky , the birds started their morning song , farts were farted and day was started, just like every other day..
Except this was no ordinary Sunday , this was the Sunday the Madpirate had been awaiting for decades in general and the past 3 agonisingly slow months in particular , this Chosen Sunday was MENTAWAI Sunday and it was to prove to be the slowest day Madpirate had ever experienced.
In the fashion of warm treacle attempting an uphill flow on a hot Summer day , Mentawai Sunday ultra-slow-time warped through every excrutiatingly long second , a day that felt like it was going backwards in time , all the while Madpirate was itching , fidgeting , frrothing and wearing his clothes out from the inside with excitement.
Indeed Madpirate was consumed as nervous energy arced , flared and flashed off him , eyes aglaze with the crazy, for at the end of the journey , the Pelagic and its owner Alan Davies were fuelled and stocked ready for some Mentawai Mayhem
This particular Sunday , on the other hand , just ambled along taking its normal time , oblivious to the Madpirates agitation and the fully frothing Horwood pack , who’s invitation had set this wave plundering expedition off in the first place
Eventually it was time and Frothing Horwoods arrived at Casa Piratus and it was airport time , much frothing was the order of the day as the journey to Mentawai had begun , via Kuala Lumpur and Padang Sumatra.
All went well , airports were smooth going and strip and cavity searches were avoided , in spite of the crazed energy fields warping and billowing off the three of us.
Crew were impressed by the size of the new airport at KL , rows and rows of berths and a runway that runs under an airbridge that links the two main sections of the airport. Madpirate did a quick count and figured there were at least 80 berths ..
Padang airport was was negotiated at high speed , thanks to the porters who just hammered their way through and then began the most insane 40 minute road trip the Madpirate has ever experienced , the anticipatory timing and free flowing nature of highly randomised yet perfectly choreographed chaos is mind-blowing, scooters , mopeds , motor bikes , taxis, busses , trucks , cars and even pedestrians all moving as if controlled by a hive mind , some huge avoidance algorithm simultaneously slowing , speeding , dodging , merging and swerving the packed mass of humanity so that 2 lanes becomes 3 lanes becomes one lane , left and right merges happen with no real stopping , vehicles turn right in the face of oncoming traffic safe in the knowledge that all the 2 and 4 wheelers coming at you will, by some miraculous means avoid you and you them.
After 10 minutes of non stop horror and alternate bum clenching / sucking the seat up his nether regions MadPirate reached the point of sensory overload and relaxed into the journey , he was immune to the relentless scenes of mobile mayhem unfolding inches away from the Madpirates passenger door. And so 30 after minutes of unbridled mayhem later we rounded a bend, and there in the bay lay the clean lines of the wave plundering Pelagic .
Drooling Frothing and hooting MadPirate and the Frothing Horwoods had finally arrived at ground zero , timelog 09h00 Mentawai time,, and indeed it was good ……
PART TOO (sic)
MadPirates Bintang claw was regularly filled and emptied as we began the first days steam to Roxy’s.
Aaarrr it were a test for the expeditions landlubbers as the entertainment area quickly became an emergency ward, the dread sea sick had mowed down all but Alan and the Madpirate , greeen was the flavour of the day as even those who had imbibed the magic pills were laid low , Madpirate was ever grateful of his seafaring genes as the moans of the mortally inflicted mingled with the soothingly rhythmic thrum_thrum of the powerful Yanmar diesel engines pushing us through the surging swells.
Many Bintangs and an honorary Heineken later, we arrived at our overnight mooring and went to sleep , Madpirate and the Horwood crew were still frothing like boiling milk in an espresso machine , the Bintang free bits of our brains wildly processing permutations of wind direction , swell size , and buoy readings all to naught however , as Alan Davies was all over the swell and wind forecasts and kept us break hopping from one spot to the next , chasing waves from spot to spot in perfect tune with the available pulses .
Between Alan and his erstwhile Skipper Neto’s experience we picked the eyes out of every bit of swell that was available for the entire 10 days A HUGE YEEEEWWWWWW !!! to Al , his fantastic boat and truly awesome crew..
We made the call to try Roxy’s , a fun little righthander on a point across a small bay from a village, the wind was just off , and so began the short journey across the bay to Rags , another right hander. Our first wave in the Mentawais , Rags , is a fun little right hander , Madpirate and Wozz Horwood were rigged and ready to go even before the anchors were down outfrothing the grommets (aka The Seagulls) in spectacular fashion , whilst we were surfing the Seagulls amused themselves by taking some pre surf , air reverse landing practice flights , off the top deck of the Pelagic.
A few waves were surfed , but Rags was just a bit off and the call was made to go to Lighthouse , which was also just not happening.
We then steamed to Mutz , where a sweet little left hander was spinning off a shallow reef, Nath and Taylor were frothing and were all over it shredding little left bowls that kept on running.
Madpirate thought he would sit it out , and much to his own dismay pulled the SUP off the roof and wobbling like loose jelly with a broomstick attached to it , set off , creating much merriment and hilarity , even the boat crew popped up for the comedy relief. Madpirate came to the conclusion that SUP is not for him and decided to hand in the oversize broom handle and hand paddle the SUP around the tiny sand island to see what the righthander looked like up close.
And so it happened , that as Madpirate was paddling past the seagulls , each of which was issuing the strident seagull call of MINE MINE MINE every time one of Wave god Huey’s salty lumps appeared, a head high bomb set lurched out of the deep and Madpirate frothed right out, swung the cumbersome SUP round and snatched the set of the day, leaving the squawking Seagulls far behind.
Madpirate was so amped he paddled straight to the boat and plucked his trusty Shortboard out of the racks and joined the frothing seagull-groms for an epic and unexpected surf, the pulse lasted about 2 hours and much fun was had wacking away at these fun little lefts.
We moored behind Mutz and headed back early morning for a surf, sadly the waves had moved on , and so a waveless Madpirate sought solace by ordering up the most epic of breakfasts , consisting of, two large banana pancakes on top of each other with the centre smothered with syrup, and covered with 2 eggs topped with lashings of bacon , all well drizzled with Tobasco and chili tomato relish .
Every meal on the Pelagic proved to be a masterpiece , perfectly cooked meats and veg with a riot of flavours, well plated and portioned to sink a battle ship , Madpirate heaven indeed
We continued the steam back to Rags and hit it perfectly again as a pulse was rolling in , surfed for an hour and half , then all aboard again for the quick 30 minute steam back to Roxy’s for the high tide late arvo session, a fun fun fun right hander that sits up and begs for some fin-rail slashing , everyone was frothing off the scale and logged one of the funnest sessions to date .
We headed off to night anchor and another sumptuous meal and much stoked quaffing of the enless supply of Bintangs.
We had Roxys even better in the morning, swell was a bit bigger and with better swell direction , at this point our merry band of wavedefiling frothmonsters were feeling the pain , Arms getting the burn , and that tingle from being in the all invasive sticky oppression of near equatorial blast furnace heat , we surfed till we were broken and then it was time to move on . Trusty Skipper Neto fired up the diesels and the perfect spinning lines of Macaronis were on the surf menu.
We anchored at Macaronis a few hours later , there were a few crew from the surf camp , in the water, so we chilled back for an hour showing respect , and then , it was our turn…..
What a wave , a perfect wall that just keeps on keeping on , lip slash , lip blast , a rush over shallow reef tables, followed by a high speed assault on a lip section that just sits up begging to be hit with all one can give it. We surfed and surfed till we were burnt out and then we watched as the land crew came back out for their second surf. Apparently we had just jagged the best swell for the last 4 days . Madpirate and crew paddled out for the 2 hours or so of daylight . Epic waves were had and Madpirate caught the greed fever so bad that he was left out there after the last light had faded , and had to do the paddle of shame back to the Pelagic in the moonlit darkness
We steamed away to mooring dinner and Bintangs, a good sleep and we were back to Macaroni’s again.
Madpirate frothed out as a head high set came rolling through as the first red fingers of sunrise started to light up the morning sky , Madpirate closed the loop by being last man out and first man in.
By the time the rest of the crew hit the water Madpirate had already jagged 3 waves and his froth was billowing out like cumulonimbus clouds.
After 2 hours of 6 people blissfully sharing turns at the sets and seagulling the mids the land crew boat started creeping out , Madpirate pulled an overhead bomb and was happily accused of serious serial water displacement . With 3 great surfs at Macaronis under his belt , that was a major tick on the Madpirates bucket list and it was good , it was also time for us to head off to the HT / Bintang area
Once again were treated to another spectacularly awesome meal , it might be said that even with 4 hours or more surfs per day, the endless stream of fantastic food and bintangs were certainly having an effect on the Madpirates mass reading and girth volume.
So began the 5 hour steam to the Playgrounds , we scouted all the breaks in our immediate area , and dropped anchor at Bintang , which was on Wazzas bucket list, the wave is a short hollow horseshoe right hander with some evil bits of dry reef on the inside.
Madpirate rested up his arms for an hour or so , and opened the fridge stuffed a Cold Bintang in his board shorts and hopped on the tinnie . Madpirate paddled over to Wazza and Alan and together , we popped the can and skulled the beer. and so it was , that the pact made on the Gold Coast between Madpirate and Wazza to drink Bintang in the surf at Bintangs was completed .
Weary and stoked we sat in the warm water as the sun set and darkness began to take its place in the natural order of things
And indeed it was good , this fine fellow was caught on the way to Bintangs , and when we came in from our surf , he was all diced sliced and sashimi’d ready to be wolfed down by the hungry pack
Next morning we headed off to Burgerworld, crew from the Barrenjoey were in the water so out of respect we relaxed over our breakfast, for 2 hours , then it was our turn, Burgers is a long loopy wave that runs right along the rocky shoreline, somewhat reminiscent of Noosa/Jbay/Trestles , the major difference being, it breaks on man eating coral reef and washes up on to the same
The wave speeds up , slows down , speeds up and so on , offering itself up to be bashed smashed and abused , though as mentioned , this wave breaks on some nasty sharp coral as crew mate Larry discovered, after being called into a wave by the “seagulls” Larry missed his exit and to his dismay found himself getting ragrolled over the ankle to knee deep inside shelf, thereby earning his Mentawai memento of multiple nicks , scratches and a wonderful set of bear claw gouges on his back , After a good squeezing of lime juice into his wounds and Larry was good to go
And so it was that eventually night came and the Pelagic snuck into its secluded overnight hideaway , a most magnificent meal of BBQ’d steak cooked to perfection , covered in onion and accompanied by stuffed baked potatoes , string beans and carrots was served to the ravenous Madpirate and shipmates , this sumptuous meal was rounded off with crepes stuffed with banana and rounded off with ice cream, Madpirate had just enough space to fit in one Bintang before dragging his weary and limp body off to the luxury of his airconditioned cabin for a good night sleep in preparation for another day of plunderous activity with Huey’s salty lumps.
From our hideaway we went off to scout , Nepussi , BankVaults and PitStops , of the 3 Pitstops was the best and so it was swarmed on by the Madpirate crew, an A frame type right hander that Wedges up in a neat horseshoe and then gallops along the reef , much fun was had and then it was back to Burgers for the duration of our stay, We waved goodbye to the Barrenjoey as they up anchored and headed back to Padang , and we had Burgers to ourselves for the next 4 days.
Madpirate could live on that tiny island till the end of his days , apart from his lust for the dark arts of lip obliteration , Madpirate had also been tasked to stress test his 4Way Fin Systemsand applied himself to the task with relish , throwing as much power and 110kg bulk into his turns as he could , Madpirate was unable to cause carnage to anything other than the shredded and carved lips of Hueys Saltylumps , wave after wave of bottom turn , speedhack , speed turn , hack-gouge-slash , rinse and repeat have burned themselves into Madpirates brainspace , there to stay , forever…
Madpirate , having spent most his his days of plundery in the sub tropical heat of Durban , and also having spent some years in the Blast furnace heat of the African Highveld was , nevertheless surprised on a few occasions at the magnitude of the heavy, molten lava sticky-dampness of the Mentawais , warm mirror glass like water magnified the suns rays like a thermic lance seeking to fry the very flesh off his bones , the humidity , sucking the healthy liquids , along with more than a few Bintangs out of his system almost as fast as the Madpirate could consume them. Madpirate would describe this all consuming wall of stickyhot as being waterboarded in a hot sauna , and was eternally grateful for the Pelagic’s powerful air-conditioning and spacious entertainment deck , where Madpirate spent much of his non surfing time .
It was a Sunday , we had been amping and frothing non stop for 7 days, the swell had dropped off and some local kids had come across to surf, we surfed an hour with them and then left them to the break for the main part of the day , whilst we went diving , jet skiing and generally just relaxing the day away , rebuilding for Mondays expected pulse….
And so it was that Madpirate took a much needed a small break from the non stop surf action and took himself underwater , GoPro in hand , for some snorkel action up the Burger World reef to we had been surfing on.
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